We all have boundaries within which we live. Our properties have limits. Our roads have lines that keep us safe. Many have set boundaries on their personal time and space and take those things seriously. But it seems that when it comes to sexual boundaries, our culture almost seems to take offence at and be quite resentful of them.
So, it comes as no surprise that almost half of teenagers aged 15-19 in Canada report having had sexual intercourse. In fact, some consider it quite odd, almost laughable, if a person in their early twenties hasn’t engaged in some sort of sexual activity. Then again, we have pop culture magazines and websites encouraging people to “stretch their sexual boundaries and push their libidinous limits.” But while media streams and cultural pundits stretch or try to remove boundaries altogether, does that mean they shouldn’t exist?
The Christian worldview holds that men and women are sacred and that their sexuality is sacred—that means it’s to be guarded from that which might demean or devalue it.
When one grasps that they are created by God—as a sexual being—and that sexuality has a proper context, perceived restrictions are seen to be less obtrusive and more loving. Being created in God’s image means that we are all valued, that our sexuality is valued, and that is has a time and place where it is best expressed. When boundaries are lifted or ignored, we lose that sense of ‘best.’
That’s why many Christians believe that sex within a loving committed marriage is the ideal context for it. Not because they want to be a killjoy, but because someone so sacred should not be used so profanely—out of context.
Giving one’s self sexually outside of marriage can leave one vulnerable and used. That’s not to say that sex outside of marriage cannot be enjoyable or ecstatic. If it weren’t enjoyable, who would want to do it? Our bodies work in certain ways and sexual organs are not biased towards wedding bands.
However, when we talk about the “ideal”, we refer to the One who created sex and its enjoyment in the first place. God’s design is that we keep and experience what is sacred in the context of something that is equally sacred—marriage.People are sacred and their sexuality needs to be guarded from that which might demean or devalue it. Click To Tweet
We all have a desire for intimacy and we’ve been made to believe that sex is the answer to that desire. Therefore when people see restrictions on sex they see restrictions on intimacy. But that’s not the case. We are also created to experience deep relationships with others that are not contingent on sexual expression.
Sexual boundaries are not meant to suppress feelings or suck the joy out of life. They are there to protect one’s soul, emotional wellbeing, and security. They are there not to take away sexual freedom, but to create a space where it can be experienced freely and fully.